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Explosions of Flowers
Settled in the picnic chair
nursing a glass of water
isn’t the lawn ultra
isn’t it hot sun
Gilding an afternoon
let’s play house
only we don’t have rules
we have stories
History at a loss
future winning
words fall from our lips
geraniums listen
Query
The holographic sky eats invisible stars
on the mound of Mondays
too graphic to exist
in the centre of the centrifugal world
gold magma born
oceans repeople
to the right of sense
The bird in St Anne’s psychiatric hospital
She sits on the edge of her bed, which is covered in a stained white blanket, and empties her bag. Her face is bonny and bright with makeup, and I covet her gold hoops. She looks like a rainforest bird, in a grey cage. Purple and green eyeshadows, lipsticks in shining tubes, hair pins, a rape alarm, cream highlighter, black kohl pencil, a can opener key ring, a peach pip, a red pen, all clatter on the bed. She whispers hold still and starts putting makeup on my face. Her hands are rough-smooth, her fingertips like jellybeans on my skin. I look in a pocket mirror from the bed when she’s finished and laugh – I have bright green around my eyes, hot pinked cheeks and a rouged mouth like a cut strawberry. I look a little more like her and I like that. The Queen is good at makeup she whispers, and I agree. A nurse screams Get back to your room. What are you doing, stealing makeup? She catches hold of my elbow and marches me down the corridor, shoves me, and locks me in.
Change of plans
Rock dust comet
brilliant stars
flowers of night becoming
Shove the earth, dig wells
inside or out, air and breath
Under averted gaze
too shiny for hiding
magpies flock to the grass
then fly skyward
What to do with the cash
eat it
Nicki Heinen was born in Germany and moved to the UK aged 6. Her work can be found in magazines and anthologies including PN Review, Poetry Wales, Magma, Butcher’s Dog, Bad Betty’s The Dizziness of Freedom and Alter Egos, and Bloodaxe’s Staying Human. She was joint winner of the Barbara Wrigley Prize for Poetry or Music alongside the composer Tim Watts, at Girton College, Cambridge University, was shortlisted for the Pat Kavanagh Prize at Goldsmiths College, and commended in the Winchester Poetry Prize 2018 and 2020. She has guest co-edited Tentacular magazine and founded and hosted Words & Jazz at the Vortex Jazz Club. Her pamphlet Itch was published by Eyewear Press in 2017, and it was a London Review Bookshop book of the year. There May Not Be a Reason Why, her debut collection, was published with Verve Press in 2022.
Copyright © 2023 by Nicki Heinen, all rights reserved. This text may be used and shared in accordance with the fair-use provisions of Copyright law. Archiving, redistribution, or republication of this text on other terms, in any medium, requires the notification of the journal and consent of the author
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