Issue 33: Rod Mengham

TRANSLATION OF EXCERPTS FROM 'GARADOBEDARO' BY MATEUSZ ŻABOKLICKI

19 (27,185 MHz)

of course I mixed up my zebras with giraffes

of course I said a thousand million times

of course, absolutely, instead of I dunno

and instead of aha—for sure   Of course  

I mixed up the names Michael Jordan

and Michael Jackson   of course in the words

of even my best-loved songs I was hearing

what I thought I had heard once, not what was there  

of course I mixed up the dark and the cold   often

mistook cold for dark Zebras for giraffes

washing machines for fridges April for Thursday   of course

I said I’m just joking, because I was

of course I mixed up my Jacksons with Jordans

of course whenever it was getting dark

I was much more ready to tell tales   Even now

I like telling them most when the dark comes on

For sure I don’t talk about the dark itself   Anything

but the dark   That goes without saying I mistake giraffes

for zebras   Stories for darkness   Michael Jordan

for Michael Jackson   And as I was saying

I’m just joking because it’s true I was only fooling around

The dark feels better in the dark and I have yet another

Seventy six justifications just like this

And of course when I said it’s interesting instead of 

I don’t give a fuck I said well, I’ll see instead of I can’t

Seized by dark thoughts I cringe with shame

and I’m working overtime  Of course

Of course I made up half of these kicks

And later on of course I fool myself

that half of them actually did take place

that detectives really do wear black sweats

and blow their smoke here on the body and you

here you have memories day’s end now is being switched on

(digital wellbeing and parental control)

today was ninety four memories the end

ninety four but don’t tell your mother

day’s end is now being switched on

we’re off so cancel the end of the day

                                                                           the further away

                                                                                                            from the goal mouth

                                                                                                                             the better

                                                                                             straight out of the rule book

*

we’re off in our fabia emotions I can’t say that

Some sort of adventure definitely

has come to an end but returning

home is after all another sort

of adventure   Surrounded by breath

I’ll open a window

Sure   Today I am detecting the taste of your teeth

in this breath Breath completely surrounds us

the skoda fabia station wagon envelopes us

We’re off in the fabia We’re off and Freddie

Mercury is singing on the cassette ooh

you make me live

We’re riding in a fabia and Freddie Mercury

is one of the things that can be held in

the fist in a skoda

let’s say these are things that

connect us for almost all of them

are right here in this skoda fabia

We’re riding in the fabia for just a while

We’re riding the fabia the red company car

and Freddie Mercury is dead

My god my birthday twin

is dead but he’s still riding and he’s still

singing but he’s dead

and yet he’s wedged in here with you

in the red skoda company

fabia just like me the station wagon

We’re riding in the fabia

Me and two dead bodies already today

We’re riding in the fabia

Me and two dead bodies right now  

We’re riding in the fabia

Me and two dead bodies we’re on our way

in a company fabia and our masculinity (my

my fifteenth year is almost at an end while you’re

you’re halfway to your forty ninth) and

and our masculinity edges onto the SUV

and the fact that added up we are sixty two

two years doesn’t mean a thing not even

even fourteen years later when

when you died having precisely that amount

 […] 

28 (27,285 MHz)

                                   how do you do fellow kids

I rolled over

did some crawling

in your absence

I wore sport socks

and I was just as funny

as you maybe even funnier

today I know going down a gear

must be borne like receiving a football

pass and controlling the ball

but you didn’t gear down at all

you weren’t as funny

as me and definitely not funnier

and of course, that’s what you wanted

                                                                                                                   you wanted to be

                                                                                                                                              a sai

                                                                                                                                                  lo

                                                                                                                                                    r

 —————————————————————————————————

I will now inflate you to XD size

Remembering how I would lick your teeth, I

reach for things that make me feel better: that

sweater with sleeve burned white in a railway

carriage for passengers with extra large bags I was

returning from winter camp, it’s brown apart

from the sleeve and is now too small, or just torn,

I was reaching for that and for things known by heart

for the Polish alexandrine, for cigarettes, for smokes

                                                                                                                     the further away

                                                                                        from the goalmouth the better

                                                                                         straight out of the rule book

I go out for a smoke, look at the balconies, and peer into people’s windows

the flats opposite perform magic tricks

with people going from room to room

they vanish they are swallowed by the wall but your trick

was

something

else

                                                           Trust me! There’s a very good reason for you

                                                                                                                To sink!  Just jump

                                                                                                                          into the wate

                                                                                                                                                 r

[ … ] 

The dark dragged out into the light does not sizzle

like a vampire with a wooden stick down its sternum.

Rather, it wheezes, it gurgles with so-called abnormal

Respiration.  If you cannot tell

whether it’s normal, or abnormal

respiration, treat as abnormal.

I cannot tell you whether it’s serious

or just a harmless prank.

In order to tolerate the sight and smell

use some QED oil under your eyes and nose.

such a simple complex man is one to whom

nothing needs to be proven any more

                                                                   you wanted to be a sailor or wanted to

                                                                                                                                          hav

                                                                                                                                               e

[…] 

we could have died in a bucket of hot wings

our death could have been registered by Coroner Sanders

today what I have for you is what I have for everyone

just old words just new sentences

of the boy in myself I keep only this or that

of the boy in myself I kill everything else

like Michael Jordan

Jackson

you gave me jokes about jokes

I remember them those jokes

like bread and water it’s hard

to forget about bread and water

you wanted to be a sailor         

you wanted to hav        

e a         

tat         

tat         

tat         

dad         

Rod Mengham was a recipient of the Cholmondely Award for poetry in 2020 and is the author of several poetry publications including Unsung (2006), Chance of a Storm (2015), Grimspound & Inhabiting Art (2018), 2019 the vase in pieces (2019), and of translations, including Speedometry [poems by Andrzej Sosnowski] (2014) and Flatsharing (2022) [poems by Anne Portugal]. He was also co-editor and co-translator of the anthology Altered State: The New Polish Poetry (2003).  His most recent book is Midnight in the Kant Hotel: Art in Present Times (Carcanet, 2022).

Mateusz Żaboklicki is a Polish poet, playwright and photographer. He was awarded the Gdynia Literary Award and Kazimiera Iłłakowiczówna Award for his book Nucic and was shortlisted for the Gdynia award with his book Letnisko.

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